Kids and Ipads: What do you do?
During this weekend we had a small tense moment with our kids about tablets and how much time they could use them. This gave me the idea for this blogpost since for sure all of us parents are suffering from this problem every day. So the question is what should we do?
In our house we are very strict with rules in all areas, we believe kids need to have a strong rules structure to grow well. Of course with enough freedom still to be kids. So the new TABLETS’ ERA creates a problem and raises questions to all parents, in our house is no different. So today I will talk about what we do and how we approached this subject in our house.
When we look at the kids of today and we look back to our childhood we see a major shift due to the technology available today.
Childhood: 80ths vs Today
We are in the globalization period, innovation era and we can’t compare to our “times”. But the same applied until a certain point with us and our parents. Of course, the technological evolution curve is at the peak today. If we look back in 1980 I didn't have Netflix , Internet, Tablets, not even a computer. To watch cartoons on Saturday I had to wait for 9am and it was a block of 1h and then only at the end of the day I had access to them again. During the rest of the day, we would play with our toys or go outside and play with our friends. We had to use our imagination to pass the time. We had a much more active life and we were happy.
But that was then and we can't force our kids to leave the same life. Time's changing and we need to keep up with it. The future of our kids is completely different from ours and it will be 100% surrounded by technology. The school environment and their friends' circle count as well. So we just have to adapt.
Ok, let's adapt, but still, we have to put limits on the usage of technology. And here I start to raise some questions and I went to look for answers.
How long should a child be on an iPad?
Well to answer this question we need to divide our children into 4 groups. Because screen time is different for a toddler or a teenager. So let's start:
Less than 18 Months
Here the rule is very simple, NO SCREEN TIME. An infant before 18 months should have no screen time, this will interrupt brain development and healthy parent-child connections. The only time we can let him look at a screen is if we are face-timing a distant relative. No more than that.
2 to 5 years old
Toddlers need to be creative and have access to games that stimulate their brains. Even that we have today a lot of games for tablets that are all about that it's still a screen and continues to be virtual. They need to grab things to develop well their movements and coordination skills. So we should promote interactive games with the parents and siblings and incentivize them to get creative with all the toys they have. Still is ok at the end of the day when you are exhausted to let them pass 1h playing with the iPad(games for their age) or watch their favorite cartoons. Still, we need to surveil and make sure they do not deviate into less appropriate material. Yes, today's games are full of advertising to inappropriate games for their age. Regarding youtube kids, be sure to configure well the age of your child to make sure he has access only to videos for his age.
6 and older
Here the rule of screen time starts to be more homework-related. He should not have access to technology before finishing all the school tasks, hygiene, and physical activities. Kids today have extracurricular activities or sports activities during the week. If they don't have, they should. Kids today pass way too much time at home in front of a screen. They need to have contact with nature and do sports. And especially after 6 years old they need to develop their psychomotor skills.
Another important rule around screen time is around dinner time. This is a family moment and should be a moment to disconnect from the technology world. Several studies show kids are less likely to develop eating disorders, less likely to be overweight if they follow this family dinner time.
And the screen time in total for this age group should be MAX 2h per day.
Teenagers
Here starts to be more difficult and thank god I'm still far away from it, mine are still small :). At this age our kids start to have the need to be more connected to the internet and depend more on technology due to the nature and the direction school is going in this new technological era.
Nowadays every homework involves a google search, they have school Facebook groups, they have a WhatsApp group with the teacher and many schools today are shifting to No books policy and just an iPad.
the problem is when you pass most of your time in this cyberspace world is also very easy to drift away from the initial goal and start surfing and losing focus. So by this age screen time is inevitable and we need to accept and adapt. We parents have to teach them all the dangers surrounding cyberspace, like cyber-bullying, inappropriate web content, but also we need to make them understand that they need real interaction with the real world.
Still at this age, I believe they should not have more than 2h per day of extracurricular screen time and during weekends they can have a little more. But is out of the question to let your teenager be on his computer playing games until 3am and for 8h long. It will not be easy but we must stick to the rules.
What does an iPad do to a child's brain?
When very small children get hooked on tablets and smartphones, says Aric Sigman, an associate fellow of the British Psychological Society and a Fellow of Britain’s Royal Society of Medicine, they may unintentionally hinder their still-developing brains. Too much screen time too soon, he says, “is the very thing impeding the development of the abilities that parents are so eager to foster through the tablets. The ability to focus, to concentrate, to lend attention, to sense other people’s attitudes and communicate with them, to build a large vocabulary—all those abilities are harmed.”
So, Parents that give tablets to their kids in the hope of an educational edge maybe are doing more harm than good.
Until the age of 3, their brains develop quickly and are very sensitive to the environment that surrounds them. Doctors called it the Critical Period since this is the foundation period for their brains.
If we look at what these gadgets provide us is the capacity to multitasking and deliver simultaneously different stimulus. Which is exactly what an under 3 years old child's brain doesn't need.
The example is when our baby tries to swipe a photo or tries to click on a page of a book, which by the way is adorable, just shows us how the brain of this kid being wired is not able to see the difference between the objects. So this might have severe problems in brain development in the future.
And the last point is Dopamine, this neurotransmitter is responsible for the pleasure feeling. So we can't forget that this is highly addictive like Simon Sinek describes in some of his videos, "that's why we count the likes of our posts, this is why it feels good when we receive a message, this is the reason why us adults pick up the phone as soon as we wake up."
It's dopamine and its addiction form. So we need to control the dosage we provide to our kids. Or else in the future, they will be obsessed with these gadgets and not be able to interact with the real world.
How do I make my tablet child-friendly?
Despite the risks and all the negative things we talked about, there are a lot of benefits to letting our children use technology. The key is to limit the screen time to max an hour per day and only educative content. We need to only let them use apps that help with coordination and quick reactions and even to help to acquire language skills. And the most important surveillance, we need to keep an eye on what they are watching and make sure they keep on the good path. So no tablets in the rooms alone, and talk to them frequently about the apps and content they are watching.
This raises a question about what will be of this generation when they arrive at adult life if we parents don't take control and give the right example as well.
If we don't help them they will be a generation of young adults without the skills to interact in the real world.
So we parents should also avoid too much screen time at home and spend more time with our kid in his education and playtime.
We can't tell them they can't and then we pass all the time looking to our facebook/instagram or emails while at home with them.
So phones, computers, and tv should be off-limits during meal times. Talk more to your kids and play with them more.
We currently in our house follow these rules and we notice that every time we give in and let them have some more screen time they become addicted really fast, so be strong despite that it's really hard for us to say no and put these hard rules but they will say thank you in the future.